Critics?

This is one of the best posts ever about dealing with your critics! This is my Pastor Perry Noble dang I Love this Guy!
Dealing With Critics - Five Questions That I Ask
I have been a part of several pastors Q & A sessions in the past year–leading some and participating in others–and in EVERY session that I attended the question, “How do you deal with criticism” surfaced.
I will have to admit that I am NOT an expert in this area…I am still learning; however, I believe in order for a pastor (or church leader) to finish well he has to learn how to deal with this issue. Jesus dealt with it, so did the Apostle Paul…we all will. One of the number one factors in pastors leaving the ministry is discouragement…and so here are several questions that I ask when criticism flies my way…
#1 - How Well Does This Person Know Me?
One of the things that we have to learn as pastors is just because someone has a blog or knows how to type an e-mail…that does not make them an expert. (Yes, I put myself in this category.)
I cannot tell you the number of blog posts I have read and e-mails that I have received from people calling me prideful, a heretic, saying that I am going to hell…and those are the nice ones!!!
Pastors, you’ve got to understand WHO is doing the criticizing. People will often act before they think (I do) and make snap judgments on your character based on one line you wrote on your blog or something you said in a sermon in which they did not listen to the entire context.
And…to be honest, those are the people I do not listen to. I can’t! I don’t have time.
BUT…I do listen to those closest to me. I have created an open atmosphere among the leaders here at NewSpring…and behind closed doors I have been both encouraged and rebuked. You’ve got to have people around you who are willing to tell you the truth or this does not work.
AND…I listen to the people in our church, who are neck deep in ministry with us…their opinion matters! But those who don’t know me–I don’t have time to try to convince them I’m a good person…and if I try then they call me arrogant and say I should be more humble. :-)
#2 - What Attitude Does The Person Criticizing Have?
Bottom line, if someone comes at me with a negative, condemning attitude…I write it off. The Bible says that we are called to speak the truth…but we are called to do so in love.
#3 - Does What The Person Is Saying Pass Through The Filter Of Scripture?
DANG…I heard Erwin McManus say this once…and it has impacted me ever since. When someone comes at me with, “I think this,” and, “I think that,” but cannot back up their argument with Scripture…I write them off.
Let me say this–Scripture IN CONTEXT, I have discovered that there are some people out there who can make the Bible say anything they want it to say by misquoting God’s Word.
But Scripture in context…I will listen to that. For example, a few weeks ago a friend and I had some differences and I did not speak to this person for several days. Things were tense because we work around one another. She confronted me on this and said, “The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 that we are not supposed to let the sun go down on us while we are angry…I would say you have done that.”
I was busted–she was right…she confronted me with a non-judgmental attitude and used Scripture in context…and I repented because I was wrong.
#4 - Is This Criticism Personal Or Shared By Others?
Pastors…here is the truth. We can receive hundreds of e-mails telling us how wonderful the sermon was…and one telling us that we are horrible preachers…and we will ignore the one hundred and focus on the one that was negative!
We all do it–I am the world’s worse!!!
OR–we will fall for the line, “I’ve been talking to a lot of people…and everyone is saying…” And then they will unload their personal agenda on us and say that everyone is saying the exact same thing. Which in most cases is not true. In fact, what I have discovered is that a person who usually says things like this don’t really have a lot of people who will talk to them anyway. Seriously!
And…if it is always the same person saying that “everyone is saying,” but they are the only person who is saying anything…then ask them who “everyone” is–this will usually shut them up!
#5 - Is This Worth My Time?
I used to try and fight every single ounce of criticism that came my way…and I just can’t do it anymore, and neither can you.
Now, there are some things that are worth my time…and I do address issues on the blog from time to time that I feel are necessary.
BUT…what I have discovered is that the majority of the criticism I get simply isn’t worth my time. I am NOT going to change the person’s mind…and “friendly debate” is out of the question…so I just move on.
I am JUST getting to where I can do this. I used to search & see what other bloggers were saying about me…but I don’t do that anymore–and neither should you! It robs your joy!!!
I don’t know if this helps you–but it has helped me. Pastors, we will always experience hurt in ministry. But, if I may use a sports analogy, the players that we most admire are the ones that play hurt and still make things happen. This rung true with me at C3 this past year when Craig Groeschel said that pastors play hurt every week.
Craig plays hurt
Ed Young plays hurt
Mark Driscoll plays hurt
Rob Bell plays hurt
Erwin McManus plays hurt
Rick Warren plays hurt
We all play hurt…but that is a part of finishing well…knowing that it will all work out in the end.
God bless…
About this entry
You’re currently reading “Dealing With Critics - Five Questions That I Ask,” an entry on Perry Noble dot com
Published:
04.11.07 / 8am
Category:
Finishing Well

Driscoll's awesome post SILENCE!

Silence
Mark Driscoll
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven... a time to be silent and a time to speak...Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7b
It was a very normal day until I realized that I was actively destroying my own soul.
The day began with my alarm jolting me awake. I immediately turned on my BlackBerry to hear it chime for each voicemail and email that had been left while I slept. I stepped into the shower where I listened to my waterproof radio. I then turned on the television to catch some news while I dressed. Driving to work I tuned in to some talk-radio banter.
Throughout the day the chime on my laptop kept ringing as email arrived, and my cell phone continued to vibrate and ring on my hip. Before long, I needed a break, and I put on my iPod to go for a walk.
On the drive home, I again listened to the radio in an effort to drown out the blaring horns of frustrated fellow commuters. After eating dinner and tucking my five children into bed, I turned on the television to watch shows I had recorded on my Tivo.
As I drifted off to sleep, it dawned on me that I had not had one minute of silence during my entire day. It was possible, I realized, that I could live the rest of my life without ever again experiencing silence.
In that moment, God deeply convicted me that I was addicted to the false trinity of our day, the gods known as Noise, Hurry, and Crowds. I remembered the words of missionary martyr Jim Elliot, who said, “I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds . . . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence.”
I began to ponder what Jesus’ life might be like if He lived today. Would He be available to all of His followers twenty-four hours a day on His BlackBerry? Would He have left His phone on at the Last Supper and been continually interrupted by needless calls? Would He have failed to stop and speak to needy people because their weeping was not loud enough for Him to hear over His iPod as He hurried past them on His way to a meeting He was already late for?
In that moment I prayed, asking God for His wisdom and help to save me from myself. God answered my prayer and reminded me that Jesus often took periods of prayerful silence to hear from the Father and to ensure not that He was doing everything He could, but that He was doing only what was most important. For example, before beginning His public ministry, Jesus spent forty days fasting from food, people, and noise in an effort to prepare Himself to fully accomplish what God the Father had given Him to do on the earth.
Moreover, the Bible says in Luke 5:16 that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places.” Jesus spent considerable time alone in silence to pray, rest, and focus on what priorities He should be devoting His time and energy to. This helps to explain why, in just three short years of ministry, Jesus had a greater impact on history than anyone else who has ever lived.
The Bible also describes multiple benefits of purposeful silence, including:
hearing from God (1 Kings 19:11–13)
waiting patiently for the Lord to act (Lamentations 3:25–28)
worshiping God (Habakkuk 2:20)
knowing God better (Psalm 46:10)
praying effectively (Luke 5:16)
Since God convicted me of my addiction to noise, I have sought to conform my life more to the pattern of Jesus’, which has proven quite helpful. I try to spend at least five minutes an hour in silence, at least thirty minutes in uninterrupted silence each day, and a full day in silence once a month. During those times I find myself going for silent prayer walks to listen to God, writing in my journal, and sometimes doing nothing at all, which for me has become an act of faith that God is at work even when I am not.
My prayer is that those reading this who, like me, are guilty of noise addiction can also experience the regular gift of silence because that is often where God is waiting for us. There was silence before God spoke the world into existence, and silence for forty days before Jesus began His public ministry, which may indicate that silence is what allows us to speak as God intends.
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Prayer
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Solitude Part 2
Mark Driscoll