What Now?

Now for part 2 of this 5 part testimony of how Jesus can restore a marriage! What Now? Within thirty minutes, a couple of our pastors came over to our house. Their attempts to even speak were futile. I was crying, Chris was scared for his life and they sat across from us hoping they’d wake up soon. After learning the news, they left and I was alone with my husband. I hated him and I loved him and I didn’t want him near me and I wanted him to hold me. I wanted details and he reluctantly shared them. I wanted dates but he could not supply them. I wanted to know why he did this to me…to us. For that, he had an answer.
Pornography.
Seriously? I thought he struggled with looking at a few naked girls from time to time on the internet. I thought he wasn’t struggling with this very much anymore. I thought we were communicating fairly well on this subject. I thought that’s why he met with his accountability group on Fridays. I thought.
I was married to a full-blown porn addict. He explained that simply viewing images of naked women no longer appealed to him. He needed something more. His sickness grew and grew and gave birth to more repulsive desires. Eventually, after years of progression, this sin completely entangled him and he acted out.
As you can imagine, my husband’s resignation was forthcoming. Had he been employed in the corporate world, that wouldn’t have been necessary. But a pastor at a church? (You do the math.) His resignation brought even more death to my broken heart. Not only was our marriage deeply wounded and more than likely beyond repair, my ministry was lost, too. I would no longer be singing on the stage that had become my home in ministry for the past several years. No longer would I be pouring into mentoring relationships with women. Now, I was the one who needed to be ministered to. This role was not something I was accustomed to at all.
Next to our marriage being absolutely torn to shreds, the most devastating part was trying to go about some semblance of a life for the heart of our 3-year old. I tried to hide my tears from him but that was a feat far too difficult to perfect. One day he walked in on me when I was crying and said, “Why you so sad fo mommy?”
What in the world was I supposed to do.

The day everything changed Chapter 1.......

This is part 1 of a five day series of one Woman and one Man's story of how a marriage was rebuilt by faith and trust in CHIST JESUS! I hope this story rocks your world it made me weep when I read it! Check back tomorrow as I post Chapter2 of Cindy Beall's story! Knee deep in boxes at 217 Brackendale Lane, I heard the front door open. The jiggle of the doorknob was a familiar sound, for I knew the entrance of my husband was soon to follow. Inching my way through a small pathway in between many boxes, I looked up and saw the face of the man I married nine years ago. Chris walked toward me and asked if we could “talk”. The look on his face said enough - something was wrong.
After getting our oldest son, Noah, settled with a Blue’s Clues video, Chris motioned me toward the newly-purchased sofa that had arrived just twenty-four hours before as we began our new life in a new town.
He began by confessing that he had numerous affairs with numerous women from numerous places. My heart began to palpitate while I listened to him. I heard the cracking of my heart as he spoke and felt the devastation setting in almost immediately. As if that information was not enough to handle, he also informed me that one of the women was pregnant, and he was pretty sure the baby was his child.
You have got to be kidding me.
I’m quite certain that Webster does not have one word that could have even come close to describing my immediate state of mind and heart condition.
Bewildered. Stunned. Shocked. Overwhelmed.Befuddled. Floored. Jolted. Nauseated. Sickened.Disturbed. Crushed. Dismayed. Paralyzed.Pissed off.
Nope, none of those work. The truth is that I still can’t tell you to this day how I felt in those first few moments.
What I can tell you is that I was keenly aware that my world as I knew it was forever changed. I woke up that morning a relatively comfortable housewife and stay-at-home mom, and within a couple of hours I became a seriously damaged woman.
As one might imagine, my mind began to race with all sorts of one-word questions. What? When? Where? And of course, an all-time favorite question asked by thousands when thrown into an unwanted circumstance – Why?
I guess I need to tell you the stinger in all of this. Up until the day my husband confessed his adultery, he was a pastor at our church.
This is where your jaw drops, your eyes get big, and you might even say, “What the…?”
I began to ask questions.
Why in the world would my husband choose to do this? We both made vows to forsake all others for the rest of our lives. I had kept my vows. He had not.
Why did you need other women?Wasn’t I enough?Why so many?Were you in love with any of them?Where did it happen?When did it happen?What did you do with them?What did they do to you?How many times?Did it happen in our home?Did it happen in our bed?Do I mean anything to you?Was it all a farce?Did our ministry mean anything?How did you lead others to Jesus while you were living this life on the side?
He knew those questions would be coming and as I asked, he simply sat there and cried.
After gaining some composure, he assured me that it wasn’t my fault. He told me that he loved me and found me attractive. He told me that I was a great wife. He said he loved being married to me. He told me that he never loved any of the women. He told me that his relationship with Jesus was real and that he did love the teenagers to whom we ministered.
Then why on earth would you risk what we have to be with someone else?
He replied, “Because I’m addicted to pornography.”

Watch Out!

When things are going your way watch out! You may be living in the danger zone. For many churches and spiritual leaders when we live in comfort we may actually be in more danger than when we live in a time of crisis. Comfort subtly seeks up and robs churches and pastors of their vision and passion. When all the bills are paid, and the people are getting along it is easy to fall asleep at the wheel like a drowsy driver on a long straight stretch of “driving in place” across the Panhandle of Texas. Crisis creates urgency, passion and at times panic, but comfort lures people into complacency, simply going through the motions.
Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill in Seattle, warns about the dangers of comfort in his book Confessions of a Reformission Rev. He diagnoses the dangers of comfort in a very direct and disturbing way for many of us who find ourselves going through the motions in ministry.
“The comfort zone is the place a church commonly falls into once they learn how to survive…At this point, the propensity is for the church to settle in, accept its size, and slip into a mode of maintenance. At some point, the people will move away or die, others will get bored, and slowly the church will begin a cycle of decline unless it intentionally reinvents itself missionally to continue to grow by taking risks in an effort to reach lost people for Jesus.”
Sadly, this appears to be the place that most churches in America find themselves. Awash in a sea of people, churches have become closer to country clubs than hospitals, and slipped into the comfort zone. Statistics bear out this reality in harsh numbers that report that 70-90% of churches in America are either on a plateau or declining. Frank Page, president of the Southern Baptist Convention, recently confessed he believed that most of the SBC church will die a slow death over the next twenty years—dying of “cancer of the comfort”.
Where did the fire go? Do we need a spiritual awakening in the pew or in the pulpit? Are we the proverbial frog in the kettle that has been slowly cooked by our changing culture environment?
Jesus and Paul stand out as clear biblical examples of leaders who had an unquenchable spirit about reaching people and changing the world. Even when Jesus had the “whole city at the door” he was not satisfied to stay put and establish his own version of a mega-church, but rather slipped away unannounced to touch the surrounding villages—because “that is why I have come.” In similar fashion Paul was relentless in his pursuit of people for the sake of the Kingdom. Paul noted to his friends in Corinth that “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Cor. 9:22b).
How often can we honestly say we have used “all possible means” to reach our community? Watch out when things are going good, you just might doze of and miss the next turn toward becoming all God wants you to be. I hope you enjoyed that. I'm not sure the Author but its so true have a great day and God Bless You! Love Jason

God's Perfect Gift of Love!

God’s Valentine gift of love to us was not a bunch of flowers;It wasn’t candy, or a book To while away the hours.
His gift was to become a man, So He could freely give His sacrificial love for us, So you and I could live.
He gave us sweet salvation, and Instruction, good and true--To love our friends and enemies And love our Savior, too.
So as we give our Valentines, Let’s thank our Lord and King; The reason we have love to give Is that He gave everything. We Love You Jesus Christ Thank You Love Jason!

Have you died?

Good Morning to all, this is one of the shortest post ever but PLEASE take the time to understand what Paul is saying! 2 TIMOTHY VERSES 11-13 read like this! 11. Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; 12. if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13. if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. The most important question I have for you is “Have you died with him?” Have you given your life up to serve him? I pray you wrestle with these two questions until you get an answer! If you want to know how to have a relationship with Jesus you can shoot me an email at jason.ashley@charter.net. I will be glad to help you in anyway and get you a bible as well as help you take your next step! I Love You All! Jason

HELL NO!!!!

I posted this back in January and it recieved the most hits and responses of any post I have ever written! So I felt like posting it again I HOPE AND PRAY IT ROCKS YOUR WORLD!This is what I call good ol home cookin straight from the heart! Is arguing causing people to bust Hell wide open? I think it is! Please let me explain! Some Christians and Churches would rather argue amongst themselves than reach out to their communities and reach out to one another! If I were the Devil I would keep Christians arguing all the time! Because if Christians argue people don’t get reached for Christ! You see some arguments I have overheard are about the most ridiculous subjects and most of the time based on man made religion, not scripture. If the Church and Christians would take time to look at what truly matters, think Kingdom Minded and simply open their hearts and doors to the lost Jesus could RADICALLY change the way non-Christians view THE CHURCH as a whole. Race doesn’t matter whether your Black, White, Hispanic, Latino or Green or Orange the truth is color of a person should not matter! We are all God’s children! What a person wears should not matter! If you don’t like what they are wearing you need to realize everyone is different and not every person that goes to Church wears a suit and tie or a skirt and dress. They should be welcome any day, any time, and in any Church! What a person drives, where they live, and who their mommy and daddy are should not be the reason you want them to stay or go! I am the son of a drug dealer and alcoholic that does not mean I am also living that lifestyle. Yes he is in jail and has been for over 15 years, which does not mean I will follow that same path! You see Jesus said come as you are! So why in the HELL would Christians put up a wall and actually think they can say who comes in and who goes out of the Church! The facts are Denominations and man made religion puts people in HELL! The same goes for arguments if we are arguing, people are not being reached! I am not saying that Church leaders and members should never argue that would be unrealistic! Good things can come from arguing, but arguing about some of the things I have discussed in this post could never have a positive impact! DO NOT FORGET…. THE CHURCH WAS CREATED TO REACH PEOPLE FOR JESUS CHRIST AND MAKE HIM FAMOUS! IT WAS CREATED FOR THE LOST! IT WAS NOT CREATED SO CHURCHES COULD TALK ABOUT ONE ANOTHER AND TEAR DOWN WHAT SO AND SO CHURCH IS DOING! WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM SO LET”S ACT LIKE IT! I will end this post with a question Would Jesus be welcome at your Church? Remember he dressed homely, most scholars say he had long hair, and he hung out with people that the religious despised! That’s the Jesus that changed the world forever! With Love for all Jason

The Spiritual Diet!

Good morning peeps! I am honestly pumped up right now! My first week of diet and exersize filled with tuna, and chicken and lots of weights and cardio paid off! I weighed in this morning at 288 pounds down 7 pounds from last week! I am very excited but I have a goal to lose 58 more pounds! So please keep me in your prayers as I travel down my weight loss road! You know I'm talking about loseing weight but I still want to eat fatty foods even though I know they may be great while I'm eating them! However they are very bad for me! You know the same applies to sin in our lives our flesh craves sin and if we go forth with our desires to sin it can be damaging and cause major issues in our lives! Let's face it we all sin alot but the question I have for you is "When you sin is it willful sin or what i call the crap sin? Like crap I did it again! Or was it the type of sin where it's premeditated for Men it may be viewing pornography and for Women it could be thinking of ways to tear your husbands down or gossiping about people around you! The point I'm trying to make is we all need a healthy spiritual diet! The only way to get past reoccuring sin in your life is to dive face first into scripture and pray for your issues! Jesus is the answer for all of our troubles! He can help you through the darkest of days and lift the sin off of your shoulders! I will close with one of my favorite quotes and I pray as you read through this post YOU GET UNCOMFORTABLE! Love Yah! Jason "Error does not become Truth because it is widely accepted; Truth does not become error, even when it stands alone!"